my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize