I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
