Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
