What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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