one might say we're banned from that church
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
