nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I cut my penus on the lid.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
