I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
