I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She told me I should be a condom model.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
