So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
