Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
and you fell through a lawn chair
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
