fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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