where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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