Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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