I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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