You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
