Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
