you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
