If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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