i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
