how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
