you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
