ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
