This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
