Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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