Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
