so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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