I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
