is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Life is so much better after having sex.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
