He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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