This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
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