You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
