apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
