but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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