oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
