Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
