woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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