Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
