Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
