I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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