Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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