Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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