Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize