fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
