Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
