Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
