Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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