Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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