Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
