i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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