Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
