so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
