whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Randomize
