I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
There's even glitter on my cock...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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