If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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