I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Alive.
So much puke
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
