I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize