i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
one might say we're banned from that church
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
