in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
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