she woke up with a sticky ear
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
