you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
