put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
