allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
