He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
