Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
