The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Randomize
