Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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